marzipan77 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
marzipan77) wrote2011-10-19 04:29 pm
marzipan77) wrote2011-10-19 04:29 pm
Entry tags:
"Renaissance: U is for Us"
Title: “Renaissance: U is for Us”
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
marzipan77
Fandom: SG-1
Pairing: None
Rated: T+ for language and memories of violence
Summary: A series of fics beginning at Daniel’s descent back to Earth from the Ascended Plane. Chapter by chapter, these fics, about 1000 words each, beginning with “A”, will explore Daniel’s attempt to regain his memories, his mortal existence, and his place within the SGC and on SG-1.
Warnings: Angst/Emotional Whump/Memories of Death
Disclaimer: I don’t own Stargate, or Jack, or Daniel, or anything but my cats.
Written for the Alphabet Challenge on the Stargate Drabbles List.
Summary: Connections and bonds made and broken.
It was Jack who accompanied him to the base archives. It was Jack who chose file after file, handing them off to the startled Airman who followed Daniel wherever he went, and ordered him to haul the heavy load back to Daniel’s assigned room. It was Jack who quirked a half-smile and muttered disconnected words and phrases like “little grey butts,” “head suckers,” “meaning of life stuff,” and “yeahsureyoubetcha,” all the while flicking surreptitious glances at Daniel as if waiting for a reaction. And, it had been Jack who, back in the briefing room, had seemed to be reaching for a sense of normalcy – a familiarly edged bantering that had somehow both warmed him and infected him with a childish need to irritate and provoke right back.
Sam’s brilliant smile, Teal’c’s raised eyebrow, and the general’s obvious patience buoyed Daniel up, but it was the flash of connection in Jack’s dark eyes that had given him the confidence to leave Arrom behind and assume the mantle of Daniel Jackson there in a roomful of his peers. It was an unspoken invitation, as if Jack had reached out to grasp him and manhandle him back into position within the puzzle of SG-1. And the light taunts and empty threats had smoothed down the rough edges of Daniel’s memories, softened the claustrophobic awkwardness of the sky-less, cement walled base and the overwhelming expectations, and had solidified Daniel’s resolve to pursue his new/old life as tenaciously as his team pursued their enemy.
The tablet – its meaning was now obvious, transparent to him where once, he knew, his understanding would have been hard won and tenuous. The Ancient writing touched him deep within – past Arrom, past Daniel, down to the depths of a soul that had once stretched out in limitless space. It told him a story of protection, of a weapon that would guard them from their foes. The Goa’uld. Anubis. A being so powerful that Jack had followed the spectre of a dead man who promised a way to defeat him.
They had defeated others – many others, Teal’c had told him. Their team, this group of four that somehow included him. He had to know, had to live up to the fierce loyalty that Jack had reminded him of in the briefing room. It was there, somewhere, within his memories. Daniel clenched his fists and closed his eyes, searching the blank recesses for anything, any connection to the limitless knowledge he must have had as one of the Ascended. Jack said he’d known the answer …
Heaviness, the plummeting of his heart, a surge of dizziness, the sensation of an icy breeze against his skin. Daniel felt the blackness closing in.
“Jack.”
“Hey-” Feet shuffled, papers splatted against the cement, and a strong grip steadied him against the waves of memory. “Geez, Daniel.” Hands eased him to the floor.
… a face without a face … energy bound by matter … dark laughter taunting … gut-wrenching frustration, helplessness … “Death will only offer a temporary escape. I can revive you again and again…a thousand times if need be” … brown eyes, haunted, defeated, dead, beneath a scarred brow … no, it can’t be true, she couldn’t have … “Stop!” … the power was there, within him, surging into being, fueled by his righteous rage … “Strike me down. Do it now or I will destroy Abydos” …
Strangling, held down by powerful, unseen hands, unable to move, watching through lidless eyes as his home, his people, were destroyed, murdered, burned away to nothingness.
“No! Don't do this!” The words blistered deep scars into his throat, seared the very air around him. He fought, lashed out with limbs that suddenly had weight and mass and strength. A flesh-covered arm connected.
A low grunt. “Daniel!”
Weight lay across his legs of bone and blood, struggled to restrain muscled arms. He clenched actual teeth and reached for his power, only to find … emptiness … a scent of energy, a wisp of potential, a firm, sorrowful denial … gone.
“Daniel! Open your eyes!”
Finding he had eyes, he obeyed. The same scarred brow, those same dark eyes, now bright with fear, worry. Alive.
“Jack?”
A puff of expelled breath warmed his cheek. “What the hell was that, Daniel?” Strong, cutting words that spoke of distress and grief.
“Did I hurt you?”
A smirk masked Jack’s fear. “You? Hurt me? Oh, I don’t think so.” His grip loosened. “Scared the crap out of me, maybe.”
“I’m sorry,” Daniel sighed, blinking the reality of his physical existence back into place. “I have to remember, it must be there somewhere, the way to defeat him, but it’s all so strange, disconnected, overwhelming.” He smiled. “It trips the internal circuit breaker.” Jack watched, his anxiety almost veiled by false impatience at the explanation. A long moment passed. “Can I get up now?”
Jack seemed to be thinking it over. “I don’t know, you back with us?” A few seconds later he rolled away, stood, and stretched out one hand.
Daniel considered carefully. Was he? Had his time among the stars divorced him from this human reality? Or was this, too, a choice he must make. A final step towards one fork in a path that diverged before him.
Perhaps the power to control these surges of memory – or to stop them – rested within him. Instead of clinging to the past, trying to force his mind to relive, to remember, maybe his new path was one of exploration, of uncertainty, of trust. Maybe he didn’t have to know everything right now. Maybe the thoughts, the knowledge of an Ascended being couldn’t fit comfortably inside his human skull, and the answers he kept searching for - why he’d come back, how he’d come back – were beyond him. He frowned, denying it, but a whispered voice echoed in his mind, “You have already made this choice.”
The actual images were evaporating, as if they were fading prints in an old photo album turning brown and pale from age until the faces were mere blurs and the times and places distant ghosts of his own creation. The minute by minute events of his Ascended existence were unimportant; those, he suddenly knew, he could live without. No, what was important, what was truth, was the feeling that had been growing within him ever since he’d seen three strange figures dressed in green on the planet of his exile. A feeling, he admitted to himself, of a deep, all-consuming bond.
He glanced up beyond the offered hand to the strong, decent, constant man above him. Jack – SG-1 – his friends, his family, these connections alone would spark the memories, would turn his foggy dreams into earthy reality. Daniel just had to be willing to let them.
His choice made, Daniel reached up and let Jack pull him to his feet, the vanishing images, words, and feelings telling him that he’d chosen well. A glowing hand seemed to touch his cheek, and the shadow of a smile colored by tears touched his heart as he held onto his friend’s strong grip.
“I’m here, Jack. And I’m not going anywhere.”
Author:
marzipan77Fandom: SG-1
Pairing: None
Rated: T+ for language and memories of violence
Summary: A series of fics beginning at Daniel’s descent back to Earth from the Ascended Plane. Chapter by chapter, these fics, about 1000 words each, beginning with “A”, will explore Daniel’s attempt to regain his memories, his mortal existence, and his place within the SGC and on SG-1.
Warnings: Angst/Emotional Whump/Memories of Death
Disclaimer: I don’t own Stargate, or Jack, or Daniel, or anything but my cats.
Written for the Alphabet Challenge on the Stargate Drabbles List.
Summary: Connections and bonds made and broken.
It was Jack who accompanied him to the base archives. It was Jack who chose file after file, handing them off to the startled Airman who followed Daniel wherever he went, and ordered him to haul the heavy load back to Daniel’s assigned room. It was Jack who quirked a half-smile and muttered disconnected words and phrases like “little grey butts,” “head suckers,” “meaning of life stuff,” and “yeahsureyoubetcha,” all the while flicking surreptitious glances at Daniel as if waiting for a reaction. And, it had been Jack who, back in the briefing room, had seemed to be reaching for a sense of normalcy – a familiarly edged bantering that had somehow both warmed him and infected him with a childish need to irritate and provoke right back.
Sam’s brilliant smile, Teal’c’s raised eyebrow, and the general’s obvious patience buoyed Daniel up, but it was the flash of connection in Jack’s dark eyes that had given him the confidence to leave Arrom behind and assume the mantle of Daniel Jackson there in a roomful of his peers. It was an unspoken invitation, as if Jack had reached out to grasp him and manhandle him back into position within the puzzle of SG-1. And the light taunts and empty threats had smoothed down the rough edges of Daniel’s memories, softened the claustrophobic awkwardness of the sky-less, cement walled base and the overwhelming expectations, and had solidified Daniel’s resolve to pursue his new/old life as tenaciously as his team pursued their enemy.
The tablet – its meaning was now obvious, transparent to him where once, he knew, his understanding would have been hard won and tenuous. The Ancient writing touched him deep within – past Arrom, past Daniel, down to the depths of a soul that had once stretched out in limitless space. It told him a story of protection, of a weapon that would guard them from their foes. The Goa’uld. Anubis. A being so powerful that Jack had followed the spectre of a dead man who promised a way to defeat him.
They had defeated others – many others, Teal’c had told him. Their team, this group of four that somehow included him. He had to know, had to live up to the fierce loyalty that Jack had reminded him of in the briefing room. It was there, somewhere, within his memories. Daniel clenched his fists and closed his eyes, searching the blank recesses for anything, any connection to the limitless knowledge he must have had as one of the Ascended. Jack said he’d known the answer …
Heaviness, the plummeting of his heart, a surge of dizziness, the sensation of an icy breeze against his skin. Daniel felt the blackness closing in.
“Jack.”
“Hey-” Feet shuffled, papers splatted against the cement, and a strong grip steadied him against the waves of memory. “Geez, Daniel.” Hands eased him to the floor.
… a face without a face … energy bound by matter … dark laughter taunting … gut-wrenching frustration, helplessness … “Death will only offer a temporary escape. I can revive you again and again…a thousand times if need be” … brown eyes, haunted, defeated, dead, beneath a scarred brow … no, it can’t be true, she couldn’t have … “Stop!” … the power was there, within him, surging into being, fueled by his righteous rage … “Strike me down. Do it now or I will destroy Abydos” …
Strangling, held down by powerful, unseen hands, unable to move, watching through lidless eyes as his home, his people, were destroyed, murdered, burned away to nothingness.
“No! Don't do this!” The words blistered deep scars into his throat, seared the very air around him. He fought, lashed out with limbs that suddenly had weight and mass and strength. A flesh-covered arm connected.
A low grunt. “Daniel!”
Weight lay across his legs of bone and blood, struggled to restrain muscled arms. He clenched actual teeth and reached for his power, only to find … emptiness … a scent of energy, a wisp of potential, a firm, sorrowful denial … gone.
“Daniel! Open your eyes!”
Finding he had eyes, he obeyed. The same scarred brow, those same dark eyes, now bright with fear, worry. Alive.
“Jack?”
A puff of expelled breath warmed his cheek. “What the hell was that, Daniel?” Strong, cutting words that spoke of distress and grief.
“Did I hurt you?”
A smirk masked Jack’s fear. “You? Hurt me? Oh, I don’t think so.” His grip loosened. “Scared the crap out of me, maybe.”
“I’m sorry,” Daniel sighed, blinking the reality of his physical existence back into place. “I have to remember, it must be there somewhere, the way to defeat him, but it’s all so strange, disconnected, overwhelming.” He smiled. “It trips the internal circuit breaker.” Jack watched, his anxiety almost veiled by false impatience at the explanation. A long moment passed. “Can I get up now?”
Jack seemed to be thinking it over. “I don’t know, you back with us?” A few seconds later he rolled away, stood, and stretched out one hand.
Daniel considered carefully. Was he? Had his time among the stars divorced him from this human reality? Or was this, too, a choice he must make. A final step towards one fork in a path that diverged before him.
Perhaps the power to control these surges of memory – or to stop them – rested within him. Instead of clinging to the past, trying to force his mind to relive, to remember, maybe his new path was one of exploration, of uncertainty, of trust. Maybe he didn’t have to know everything right now. Maybe the thoughts, the knowledge of an Ascended being couldn’t fit comfortably inside his human skull, and the answers he kept searching for - why he’d come back, how he’d come back – were beyond him. He frowned, denying it, but a whispered voice echoed in his mind, “You have already made this choice.”
The actual images were evaporating, as if they were fading prints in an old photo album turning brown and pale from age until the faces were mere blurs and the times and places distant ghosts of his own creation. The minute by minute events of his Ascended existence were unimportant; those, he suddenly knew, he could live without. No, what was important, what was truth, was the feeling that had been growing within him ever since he’d seen three strange figures dressed in green on the planet of his exile. A feeling, he admitted to himself, of a deep, all-consuming bond.
He glanced up beyond the offered hand to the strong, decent, constant man above him. Jack – SG-1 – his friends, his family, these connections alone would spark the memories, would turn his foggy dreams into earthy reality. Daniel just had to be willing to let them.
His choice made, Daniel reached up and let Jack pull him to his feet, the vanishing images, words, and feelings telling him that he’d chosen well. A glowing hand seemed to touch his cheek, and the shadow of a smile colored by tears touched his heart as he held onto his friend’s strong grip.
“I’m here, Jack. And I’m not going anywhere.”